I think I may be depressive and delusional. Life kind of seems to suck right now. Going to college... help?

Yes, way too long. I think seeing someone would really benefit you because you obviously have lots to talk about, lots on your mind that you want to get out, and just talking those things out and then hearing how it sounds to someone else can be really cathartic. Don't worry about changing who you are, that is ultimately a choice you will make, and if you grow into another version of yourself, then it's just your time for that and at that point you'll welcome the change... so it's silly to worry about a hypothetical change that hasn't happened and might not happen anyway... or might be a good thing if it happens, you know? Stop stressing about those future things, focus on the now, and now you are feeling down, so go get some help for that now, and whatever happens after that, don't worry about that yet.